


Heart? Monsters Don't Have Hearts.

by CoffeeBarton



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Broken Heart, Depressed Tony Stark, Depression, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love/Hate, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal tony, Suicide, Tony Angst, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-07-29 12:04:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7683907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeBarton/pseuds/CoffeeBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not a continuation of the other stony angst. just wanted to write this... hope its relatively okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony sat in his lab, staring blankly out the window.  
He was a monster… A selfish monster. Now he knows it.  
He thought he could make it better, maybe it'd help a bit. He just made it worse, and didn’t realize it until it was too late.  
He was alone again, he was the villain this time… now someone, who he thought… Thought loved him, hated him… when Tony, himself still loved him.

 

A tear rolled down Tony's cheek, his chest felt heavy and his gut churned with guilt, trying to keep down whatever he had down.  
He was a fool to think he could love… monsters don’t love… monsters don’t have a heart.  
Tony sniffled and wiped his eyes, trying to stop the tears, they just got heavier. Tony started to choke out sobs, trying to keep as quiet as possible and holding hid breath, hoping he'd pass out from it.

His hands were clenched into fists, his head was pounding from crying so hard, he took in a deep breath and whimpered.  
Selfish and Monster  
The only two words that he could hear, that he could see.  
Those words were him… because that’s all he is.

"Steve…" tony whined and choked out a sob as he got up from his seat and went to his bedroom, collapsing on the mattress, after he closed the door.  
His chest got tighter and moved a hand to where his heart was, starting to claw at the skin, just wanting the pain to go away.

Selfish Monster  
The words repeated over and over in Tony's head, as he choked out more sobs and his finger and chest started to get covered in blood.  
Eventually the tears stopped and his head was throbbing , he just felt empty.

Selfish Monster

He continued to claw at his chest, until his shirt was partially soaked and his hand was covered in blood.  
After a while Tony got out his phone and looked at Steve's contact, going to the messages.

Steve:  
Whenever I talk about my problems and you talk about yours to show me how little my problems matter and how yours are so much worse. That. Doesn’t. Fucking. Help.

Tony:  
Sorry.

Steve:  
Don’t be. That all can't fucking possibly be on accident.

Tony:  
Just wanted someone to listen… just wanted to show you I know… obviously doesn’t work like that anymore.

Steve:  
Yeah right. It was obvious that it made me feel like shit. I would be more than fucking willing to listen if I wasn’t always upset because you made me feel that way.

Tony:  
Didn’t mean to….

Steve:  
Look… I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you, why you think people deserve to be treated like this… but you need help.

Tony:  
I don’t think that.

Steve:  
Yeah mhm

Tony:  
Why did you even… doesn’t matter

Steve:  
?

Tony:  
Say you loved me…

Steve:  
I did love you

Tony:  
And I do love you

Steve:  
Well you hurt me. A lot. And I don’t care if you realized what you did, but what you did was unacceptable and I can never forgive you for that.

Tony got up and took a deep breath, taking off his bloody shirt and wiping his chest with it. Tony went to his office and took out a pen and a small plain card.  
'Goodbye, Steve.  
Monsters don’t have a heart'

Tony went back to his room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He lay on the bed, tears and blood soaking it, he placed a hand on the reactor and took it out. Placing it with the note on his bedside table.

He closed his eyes, feeling his chest seizing and his vision goes white as he took his final breath he thought to himself. "Monsters can't love."


	2. A Fool

"I'm done with you, 100% DONE!" Steve yelled at Tony and raised a fist.  
"YOU'RE JUST A SELFISH BASTARD, ALL YOU DO IS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. I DON’T KNOW HOW FUCKING DUMB YOU ARE OR MAYBE YOU'RE TOO SMART AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOURE DOING!! Steve raised his voice again and punched Tony square in the face.

Tony toppled to the floor and let out a small whimper, not getting up, not saying a word.

"You do it on purpose, manipulate me, make me feel like shit, since I've been with you, you’ve made my depression worse." Steve hissed and gripped Tony's shirt in one fist and punched him and slapped him continuously in the face and his abdomen.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry-" Tony stammered and croaked out, blood and spit running from his mouth.

"Sorry isn't good enough, you're pathetic, attention seeking…" Steve threw the smaller man to the ground, Tony hitting it with a thud. 

"N-no…" Tony tried to get out, but it sounded more like a groan.  
Both his eyes were black and he was of course crying. 

"You're toxic… and you ruin everything around you. I'm never forgiving you." Steve hissed again and took a fist of Tony's hair and tugging his head back. "You're a selfish monster."

"N-no. Tony said, a little clearer this time. "I know it's my fault… it always is… you think I don't feel guilt?" Tony said in a hushed voice, tears getting heavier and was struggling to breathe. 

Steve pulled Tony up again and threw him down again, starting to kick him. 

Blood spewed from Tony's mouth and he grunted and coughed with every kick. Steve then got on his knees and pushed tony to his back, punching his face and chest. And by what Tony felt, a few were fractured and some broken. 

Tony still didn’t fight back, mostly because he knew Steve would just throw him down again, also because he'd given up trying to reason with him. He had nothing to fight for.

Steve punched Tony once more in the face. The room in Tony's eyes goes black, the last thing he saw was the anger and hatred in Steve's not so kind, blue eyes.

Steve had just left Tony there, going back to his apartment to clean himself up, he was finished with Tony. He to think The Tony Stark could ever actually love… that was pathetic. He was a lire, nothing but a selfish, narcissistic monster… how could Steve ever trust him… he knew what he was from the start… how could he love him…

 

Tony woke up a few hours after the fight, his head pounding and his body was in intense pain, his breathing was ragged and his eyes were blurry. "Steve…" he croaked out, tears filling his eyes as he recollected how this had happened… remembering how much more he was hated… but now… now by someone he adored and cared for… and he knew he had no chance of telling that to Steve so that he'd believe him… Tony knew what he was… and all the things that Steve said, what he believed weren't true… 

Tony tried to get up, but failed, his legs were numb and his torso was battered and cruised. He made the effort to move, slowly and painfully to the couch. He held his breath as he pulled himself up and lay on his back. Tony panted and then pulled his legs up, the pain was so unbearable that his body felt numb.

Tony started crying again, trying to keep it as quiet as possible, his tears were hot and heavy on his face as everything Steve said went over and over in his head. Every time he took a breath he felt more pain, it helped to keep focused on that, rather than the hateful things Steve said… he was a fool for loving, a fool for letting someone in, a fool for caring so deeply … a fool for letting a relationship happen, when he knew it'd end like this.  
"I-I'm sorry…" Tony whimpered, knowing nobody would hear him.

Steve was in bed by this time, reading, not wanting to think about what happened today. He didn’t feel bad. Tony had it coming, he deserved it, he can feel physically what Steve felt mentally. He'd had enough of false people in his life. And Tony… Tony was the worst of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was suggested... hope you enjoy. and again, sorry. would write more if i wanted to get more angsty.


	3. Maybe he had too much heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why, why did he do it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people that keep asking. Here it is. Your suffering.

Days had passed, Steve was still pent up with anger and hatred for a man he once loved.   
It was always harder when you loved someone as deep as your soul. 

Nobody heard from Tony in a while, it wasn't unlike him to go off without any trace or without talking to anyone.   
Then again, he would at least tell someone, a friend where he was. 

A sigh left Steve's mouth and he dumped his back on the floor of the gym, punching things was the only way he could let off anger. Probably wasn't he most effect thing in a fight, nobody could change that.   
One punch after another into the heavy punching, it swung with every blow Steve had, but it was enough, he needed to punch harder. To punch hard enough that it felt like his body had had enough, so his soul could be eased. 

He heard a buzzing from his bag after going through a few bags in the span of two hours.  
His phone lit up and read 'Clint' on the screen.   
He picked it up, expecting to hear the archer to ask for snacks, but what he got was nothing of the sort. At first he just blocked out Clints voice, thinking it was some joke to make him feel bad.

"Funny, is that all that he's got?" Steve huffed and pulled he phone from his ear. 

"You really think this is a joke Rogers?" Clint hissed through the other end. 

Clints heart was racing and was holding back every emotion hed been suppressing for years. He couldn't believe it himself. He didn't want to look at the lifeless mass of Tony Stark behind him. Didn't want to believe that was him, even with the cavity in his chest empty of what once kept him living, kept his heart beating. 

"Tony is gone... Far too gone to even save him." The archer said, his voice wavering as he spoke. 

 

Steve didn't know what to do or feel in that moment, didn't know where he was, everything was nothing. He pulled the phone from his ear once again and hung up, dropping it into his bag. 

A wave a nausea hit him instantly, running to the closest bathroom and threw up everything, his eyes burned, tears streamed without a sound escaping his lips. He didn't know how to scream. 

This was his doing. He did this, he killed Tony. 

He sat in the stall, looking at nothing, thinking nothing. Not wanting to exist. 

After what seemed like hours, Steve got up, cleaned his face, packed his things and left.   
He went to see Natasha first, finding she'd be able to help him in some way. Help him with guilt...

Clint was with her and the rest of the team. All giving him half filthy glares. 

"Where is he?" Steve asked, voice shaky and hoarse. 

A frown came to Clints face. "hospital." He said with bite in his tone.

Steve gave a simple nod, feeling sick again.

"Suppose you'd like to explain to us why Tony did what he did?" Said Natasha, her arms folded, which meant she wasn't talking shit.

Steve handed them his phone, not caring, not wanting to be forgiven. He just regretted everything. Every word he messages and every word he'd screamed at Tony beforehand. 

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Love shouldn't end like this... 

Where one loves too much and the other afraid of loving.   
No...

Steve's heart felt slow and hit hard against his chest. His body hurt. His mind couldn't handle the pain so it made it physical. 

"How could you, Steve?" Bruce said, looking at the him with a frown.   
"You knew how easily he could do it, you knew he would. And you, you were keeping him from it, he loved you." Bruce said.

Everyone said their part and took Steve in, he'd be placed in a cell, one where he couldn't harm himself. 

A cell surrounded by people he put away, by people who hated him. And worst of all, surrounded by his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry.


End file.
